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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647268">How's the Heart?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThymeSprite/pseuds/ThymeSprite'>ThymeSprite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Sexual Humor, Spoilers, Stitches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:01:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647268</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThymeSprite/pseuds/ThymeSprite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They are not what each of them sought for. <br/>But they might just be what the other one needs.</p><p>Or: Five times Cass and Bull did not have sex. And one time they did.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Iron Bull/Cassandra Pentaghast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Remember the party banter in which the Iron Bull propositions Cassandra and she says it will never happen?<br/>I wanted to explore if, after all, it did happen.<br/>This is this exploration in the form of a 5+1 fan fiction.</p><p>Please note: There will be spoilers for both Cassandra's and Bull's personal quests, but I guess most of us have already played the game by now. ;p</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Frustrated again, Seeker?”, the Iron Bull teased her and Cassandra groaned. She could see his smirk without having to look at the scoundrel. </p><p>    “I could help you - argh! - with that.”, he further had the audacity to make another pass at her. </p><p>    “Has it occurred to you that we are - die! - currently fighting a bear?”, she panted, both surprised and outraged. Of course, she had not told him to stop propositioning her, merely that his attempts would never amount to anything. But…now? In the middle of a fight? </p><p>    Cassandra bashed her shield against the snout of the beast and thereby drove the bear back, right into the trap the Inquisitor had laid for the animal, its spikes hidden in the dark green grass of the Emerald Graves. The bear roared in pain and reared up onto its hindlegs. A mistake, as she realised, when Bull exploited its unprotected throat by burying the blade of his Dawnstone axe deeply in the beast’s flesh, the torn neck spouting blood. </p><p>    “Not fighting any longer.”, the Qunari then beamed at her over the back of the dying animal, “So, what’ll it be, Seeker?” </p><p>    “I am not frustrated.”, she growled, wiping her sword in the now dead creature’s fur. She knew that her words had merely proven his point. And of course he had to exploit this mistake as well: “No? My offer stands regardless.” </p><p>    He even winked at her! He…! </p><p>    “I’ll admit that I am…tense.”, Cassandra spoke through gritted teeth and now she faced both the Bull’s smug grin and the Inquisitor’s. Men! </p><p>    “Ugh.”, she groaned in exasperation and turned around to Solas, whose eyes were fixed on the dead bear, “A pity. But it had to happen.” </p><p>    Cassandra shook her head and ignored the three men behind her. It was true, she was tense. Her muscles were cramping from the exertion of following the Inquisitor around on almost every errand. She had no idea how he managed it, maybe it was the nimble footedness Varric ascribed to Aidan Trevelyan or the Mark he bore. Cassandra did not care, she was much too tired and too cranky to mull it over any more than she absolutely had to. And her shoulder hurt. </p><p>    “Where to now, Inquisitor?”, she asked over her shoulder, hoping to get them all to move again. </p><p>    “Well, I promised Fairba… ouch!”, Trevelyan began, then interrupted himself. When she turned around, confused, but suspicious, he was rubbing the back of his head and shrugged his shoulders, a movement that hurt Cassandra simply from watching it, “Uh…back to camp?” </p><p>    It had sounded more like a question than an order, but Cassandra would take it. </p><p>    “Lead the way.”, she nodded ahead and watched Trevelyan walk past her, still rubbing his head and throwing an accusing glance at Bull…who merely smiled at the man. </p><p>    This was unnerving. </p><p>    Solas opted not to say anything, but his raised eyebrow told Cassandra unmistakably that he, too, suspected some sort of foul play. Now to only find out what… </p><p>    “Sure you’re okay, Seeker?” </p><p>    Ah. There it was. </p><p>    “That tension could become a problem if it’s not taken care of.”, Bull spoke and Cassandra narrowed her eyes at him, “Do you want me to smack you over your thick skull as you clearly did with the Inquisitor?” </p><p>    “Careful, I might enjoy it.”, the big lummox smiled at her, but then looked ahead without a word. She almost thought that would be the end of that. But of course it was not so.</p><p>    “He was being unreasonable.”, the Qunari shrugged jovially, then lowered his voice so that it was almost drowned out by the wind and the rustling of the grass their feet parted with every step, “As are you.” </p><p>    “I am not.”, she shot at him, but he was unperturbed, “Course you are. Too tense, too cranky. You really need to blow off some steam. Or find another way to release this tension. Otherwise it will get in your way. Mentally or physically. Or both.” </p><p>    Damn him. Cassandra knew he was right, but Maker take her, she would not tell him that! </p><p>    “I am fine.”, she insisted instead, but gritted her teeth as she had to raise her arm to grab onto a large root. Her shoulders were too tense from all the fighting and marching. </p><p>    She glanced at Bull next to her and of course he had seen her wince, of course he had immediately identified her shoulders as the source of her irritation. </p><p>    “Alright.”, he mused and she had almost believed that would be the end of it, but no. The next time she was about to raise her arm to climb a grassy ledge, the insolent man simply grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her up. She only managed an indignant squeak. </p><p>    “Relax, Seeker.”, the Qunari laughed, tightening his one-armed embrace, “You made it clear there’ll never come anything of my flirting. But let a guy fantasise a bit, alright?” </p><p>    With that he deposited her on top of the ledge and Cassandra reluctantly admitted, albeit only to herself, that she was impressed. She was heavy, tall, she knew that, but he had effortlessly lifted her even in full armour. It appealed to her more than it probably should. No, definitely. </p><p>    As Bull climbed the ledge after her and now helped pull first Solas up, then the Inquisitor, she was still staring at him, at the muscles in his forearm tensing and relaxing. And she was still staring, by the Blights, when the Qunari looked at her. Of course he had caught her, again, and his smirk should have been a warning, yet she was still surprised as he passed her by and leaned down to whisper into her ear: “If you do want some help with the tension, lemme know.” </p><p>    “Ugh.”, she snorted to herself, then followed the group back to camp. </p><p>    There she hurried to eat some dinner, wash up a bit and then retire to a tent. She just wanted to be alone. On her cot, dressed in linen trousers and a shift, she admitted that her shoulders did not get better, only worse. Of course she could drink a potion, but that would needlessly diminish their supplies, so she would not risk it. She could ask Solas to cast a healing spell, but that did not sit right with her. He had already done a lot today, worked magic for many hours, she would not trouble this ally. The Inquisitor, even if he had been able to help, certainly had better things to do. </p><p>    This left her with merely one option… but that would mean admitting defeat. </p><p>    “No.”, Cassandra grumbled and reached for her copy of Swords and Shields. </p><p>    “Ow!”, only to hiss in pain as it shot up through her arm and gnawed at her shoulder, a merciless beast in her muscles. Then numbness followed and her arm slumped to her side. Her fingers tingled, but Cassandra finally had to admit defeat. She would not be able to lift a sword in this sorry state. </p><p>    “Maker take you.”, she cursed under her breath, her eyes closed, the fingers of her left hand pinching the bridge of her nose, a movement that was again accompanied by intense pain at first, numbness right after that. She had to… </p><p>    Before she could change her mind, Cassandra swung her legs to the side, hissed through the pain of pulling on her boots, then she left the tent, furiously ignoring the doubts lingering in her mind. There was nothing she could do. </p><p>    She saw the Inquisitor standing over the table carrying the maps of the region, debating something with Solas, so she left the two of them undisturbed. All the better if no one of importance saw her. She made her way to the only tent that seemed to be occupied and debated announcing her presence somehow, but then shook her head and merely walked in. </p><p>    Bull was sitting on blankets and furs on the ground, no cot big enough to hold him, but his head shot up as he saw her. </p><p>    “Seeker.”, he greeted, no humour in his voice as he got up, “What happened?” </p><p>    “I… find myself in a predicament.”, she spoke through gritted teeth and braced herself for a witty remark, but it failed to come. As she looked up at him, Bull just nodded: “Go on.” </p><p>    “My…Andraste, this…”, Cassandra sighed a curse and was already turning around, but Bull caught her wrist. His grip was remarkably gentle for a man his size and even though his hand easily engulfed all of hers, there was no force in his hold of her. </p><p>    “Your shoulders are so tense you can barely move.”, he accurately diagnosed, “Your footwork was still excellent today, but your blows and your defense was slow. I know I said you didn’t need to be so defensive all the time, that you could allow your enemies to scratch the paint on your breastplate a bit. But you were slow today, dangerously slow.” </p><p>    “I…yes.”, Cassandra growled, then jutted her chin out and challenged him, “Are you done dressing me down?” </p><p>    “I could undress you.”, Bull suggested with a smirk and Cassandra angrily shook her head, “Ugh. This was a mistake.” </p><p>    “No.”, the Bull objected calmly, all seduction gone from his voice, “It was the right choice.” </p><p>    “This is not a sexual encounter.”, Cassandra declared harshly and Bull nodded his assent, “Of course not. But you need to get rid of the tension in your shoulders or it might get you killed. I’m just a friend helping out.” </p><p>    “Exactly.”, Cassandra replied, but then stood there in his tent, lost. </p><p>    “You’ll still have to undress at least a bit, though.”, Bull then said, an almost boyish grin on his lips and Cassandra glared at him, then raised her arms… and immediately let them fall with a hiss of pain. </p><p>    “I…”, she began, but Bull merely squeezed her hand for a moment, “Shush. I’ll take care of you. Nothing more, nothing less. Allow me.” </p><p>    It was…embarrassing, but Cassandra let him undo the lacing on the front of her shift. When his hands reached for her hips, touched them, she winced nonetheless. </p><p>    “Relax.”, his deep voice rumbled, “I won’t do anything you don’t want. Just tell me to stop and I will.” </p><p>    “Really?”, she whispered, embarrassed and feeling the flush in her cheeks. </p><p>    “Really.”, Bull vowed, “One word and I’ll stop, no questions asked. You’re in control, Cass.” </p><p>    As if to reinforce his words, Bull’s hands did not move from her hips. They did not lift her shift, but neither did they leave her. After another breath, Cassandra nodded and only then did Bull move again. His hands gently, but efficiently stripped her of the shift, there was nothing sensual about it and Cassandra was grateful. She knew she would not have been able to take the garment off without pain, but she still found the strength and determination to cover her nakedness. Bull raised his good eyebrow at this, but said nothing. </p><p>    Instead he gestured to the bed and even though it was awkward, Cassandra bit her tongue and laid down. She heard him rummage through a bag and when something cool and liquid hit her back, Cassandra gasped. </p><p>    “Relax.”, Bull chuckled, his big hand on her back, “Just oil, Seeker. I told you, I’ll take care of you.” </p><p>    Still she was tense and she heard Bull hum something like disapproval, but he nevertheless began to stroke his fingers over her skin, dipped them in the oil, spread it on her upper back, up her shoulders. </p><p>    “You have oil with you?”, Cassandra then muttered and tried to push herself up, “Why?” </p><p>    Bull was having none of it, he simply pushed her down again, gently, but determinedly, and hummed: “You never know when you coulda use it. Now relax, for fuck’s sake.” </p><p>    That made her chuckle, surely his goal as she heard him join her. Then they both fell silent and Cassandra slowly felt the tension melt under Bull’s ministrations. His hands were warm, gentle and she had to admit that it was more than just comfortable to be treated with such generous consideration. </p><p>    “Ouch! Ugh!”, Cassandra then withdrew that thought as Bull’s fingers dug into her shoulders, “What are you doing?!” </p><p>    “Getting rid of your tension.”, he simply replied, but let up at least some of the pressure, “Now that your tissue is warm, I can get to all the knots and kinks in your muscles.” </p><p>    “Ugh.”, Cassandra grumbled again and winced once more as he reapplied pressure, which made Bull chuckle above her, “Relax. It’s the good kind of pain.” </p><p>    She sincerely doubted that… but the longer Bull alternated between digging his fingers into her tense shoulders and warming her skin by gently stroking over it, the more she had to agree. Silently of course, but nevertheless. </p><p>    With every strong pass of his fingers Cassandra felt the tension less and less, felt instead more and more warmth bloom in her shoulders, then the rest of her back as Bull let his fingers draw circles on other mistreated muscles. When he put his palms flat on the small of her back and slowly moved his hands up, his thumbs stroking her skin next to her spine, up to her neck, Cassandra could not help it, she moaned. </p><p>    Bull chuckled darkly above her: “Enjoying yourself, Seeker?” </p><p>    “Silence.”, she hissed, but Bull merely continued to laugh quietly. Yet she was indeed enjoying herself, so Cassandra spoke no more and made certain she would not let another moan escape. </p><p>    “C’mon, Seeker.”, Bull then rumbled above her, his mouth so close to her ear she could feel his breath on her skin, “Let me hear you. I need some fuel for my fantasies.” </p><p>    “Bull…”, she growled and he laughed again, but removed his hands, “Alright, alright. Hope you feel better now.” </p><p>    She did. But now she missed his touch. </p><p>    Blessed Maker, she had a problem. </p><p>    “Thank you.”, Cassandra curtly said and looked up only to see Bull hand her the abandoned shift. As she took it from him, he gave her a slow smile and then turned his back on her, busying himself with something, but she knew it was just to give her some privacy. </p><p>    Once she was decent again, Cassandra bit her lip and forced the words out: “Thank you, Bull.” </p><p>    “Anytime, Seeker.”, he smiled at her over his broad shoulder, but the twinkle in his eye was warning enough, “Feel free to come by for that whenever you need. Or for something else.” </p><p>    He even winked at her! </p><p>    “Ugh.”, Cassandra groaned again and stormed out. She knew she heard him laughing behind her, but she was determined not to cave, for she was angry he had made it sexual after all. </p><p>    Mostly she was angry because part of her wanted to turn around and jump the man.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Seeker, could you…help me out here?” </p><p>    Cassandra turned around at the curious tone of Bull’s voice. He never, never sounded unsure, but right now, she half expected him to blush. Indeed there was a slight tint of colour on his cheeks and Cassandra could scarcely believe it. </p><p>    “What can I do for you?”, she asked as she put her training sword away and for the moment she was grateful that the dummy hid her, for she was forced to think about how Bull had helped her a few weeks prior in the Emerald Graves. Before Adamant… </p><p>    She sure hoped that her own blush had subsided as she turned to face him, but she need not have bothered. The massive Qunari did not look her in the eye. </p><p>    “Bull?”, she prompted and frowned as he all but thrust a wooden stick into her hand, “Here, hit me with it.” </p><p>    “Beg your pardon?”, Cassandra muttered and Bull grumbled, “You heard me.” </p><p>    “You want me to do what?”, she hissed, cautiously eyeing the Bull, then the stick. It was of considerable girth and apparently a solid weight in the man’s hand. </p><p>    “Argh!”, Bull groaned and this time did thrust the stick into her hand, “Qunari training exercise to master…your fear.” </p><p>    He had hesitated, only mumbled the last few words. In shame… </p><p>    Cassandra sighed: “Alright.” </p><p>    “Good.”, he nodded fiercely and stood before her in the courtyard, bracing himself for a blow. Cassandra looked at the stick again, hefted it in her hands to test its weight. </p><p>    “Bull, are you sure you…?”, she doubted his idea, but Bull snapped at her, “Hit me.” </p><p>    “Fine.”, she hissed in reply and swung the stick, let it collide with his stomach. </p><p>    “Again.”, Bull growled and Cassandra frowned, but did as asked, whacking him once more. </p><p>    “Again!”, he demanded and she complied. </p><p>    “Again!”,  Bull then snarled, “C’mon! This is why the Qun doesn’t like women fighting. Should’ve asked Cullen…” </p><p>    Cassandra narrowed her eyes. Then she hit him. Full force. </p><p>    Only when the massive man crumpled to the ground did she realise that he had taunted her into brute force and that she had fallen right into his trap, his manipulation. </p><p>    “Good one…”, Bull groaned in pain, but then came to his feet and braced himself. </p><p>    “You want more?”, Cassandra asked with wide eyes, while Bull rubbed his nose and shrugged, “This training exercise can take a while. I have to deal with what happened at Adamant. Bloody demons.” </p><p>    Cassandra merely sighed. She, too, had walked in the Fade and while she had thought to see the Divine, had at least had that little ray of hope in the realm of the Nightmare, Bull had not had even this little comfort. For him it had been demons manifesting as his worst fears and only his own strength to get him through. The Inquisitor was still pale, if he left his quarters at all. </p><p>    So Cassandra gave the Bull a soft smile, only to hear him groan: “I need to get over this shit. Just hit me.” </p><p>    “With pleasure.”, Cassandra teased him and did not hold back. She whacked him and even though she saw red, angry welts form on the skin of his stomach, she dealt another blow. </p><p>    “Damn demons.”, Bull grunted through the pain and the fear, “Who’s stuck in the Fade, huh?” </p><p>    Cassandra clearly saw the effect it had on him, so with her next hit, she taunted him: “Those demons wanted to rip you to shreds.” </p><p>    “And who killed you?”, Bull roared with her next blow, “That’s right. Iron Fucking Bull!” </p><p>    Cassandra let the stick sink as Bull stood before her, panting, but grinning down at her: “Thanks, Seeker. I needed that.” </p><p>    “Anytime.”, she chuckled, “Really.” </p><p>    At this he guffawed, threw his head back in a full belly laugh, so Cassandra saw the bruises she had left on his stomach. </p><p>    “You should have that looked at.”, she gestured at his skin, she had even torn it open over his ribs. </p><p>    “Nah.”, Bull dismissed her concern, “Part of the exercise. Reminds you that you’re stronger than your fear.” </p><p>    “This is…highly unusual.”, Cassandra assessed and Bull laughed again, “You could say that. As someone outside the Qun.” </p><p>    “Apparently.”, Cassandra conceded and nodded at him, then she just stood there, unsure what to do with herself. </p><p>    “So…”, Bull drawled, “You wanna get drinks, Seeker?” </p><p>    His thumb pointed to the Herald’s Rest behind him, but Cassandra’s gaze stopped at the bulge of his biceps. </p><p>    “No, thank you.”, she then blurted, turned around and grabbed her training sword to mercilessly attack the training dummy. Only because she could not beat her own thoughts into a pulp. </p><p>    “Suit yourself.”, Bull said behind her, but she tried her best to ignore him and especially the appreciative hum she heard as she lunged, probably giving him a good view of her backside. </p><p>    She would not think about this. About him. </p><p>    Only she was still thinking about him when about an hour later she turned around, the dummy destroyed and Cassandra herself drenched in sweat. Maybe Bull had mastered his fear, but she had not defeated her own thoughts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cassandra closed the heavy tome with a dull thud and yet she winced as it broke the silence of the nightly forge, long since abandoned for the day. Her lone candle sputtered against the draft of her sigh, but she just sighed once again. All the pain, the secrets, the bloodshed…was ultimately the Seekers’ fault. Her fault, in a way. </p><p>    She bit her tongue with force, anything to drown out the pain. Daniel was dead, so many brothers and sisters and for what? A shameful secret. </p><p>    The agony and shame welled up in Cassandra’s breast, crashed against her constricted throat like the agitated waves on the Stormcoast. Until they broke through with a sob. </p><p>    Resolutely, Cassandra fought it down again. No, she would not succumb to desperation, would not let her feelings rule her… except that they had already won. She needed to do something or they would overcome her completely. </p><p>    Hardly giving any thought to her actions, Cassandra jumped to her feet and ran, where, she had no idea, but she ran. She thundered down the stairs from her little nook down to the forge, felt the heat of the ongoing fire, but soon exchanged it for whipping winds and ice cold rain, pelting her mercilessly as she ran to the training dummies. </p><p>    She needed to punch something, anything to get this tension out of her mind and soul. </p><p>    At that thought, her body betrayed her. </p><p>    Without her conscious thought, her legs made their way over to the Herald’s Rest and again she ran. She ignored the few stragglers who had not yet found their way to their beds, for she was only looking for one man. </p><p>    Dashing up the stairs, ignoring Sera’s protest and Cole’s inquiring, frightened gaze, she took the last flight of stairs two at a time. Cassandra did not bother with knocking, he must have already heard her less than graceful ascent. </p><p>    Already panting heavily, Cassandra stormed into Bull’s room and stood there, drenched in rain, out of breath. She knew she had to be a frightful sight and he seemed to agree, for his good eye widened as Bull looked at her. </p><p>    “Shit, Seeker.”, he cursed and was next to her in two long strides, “What the hell happened?” </p><p>    She could not speak, only try to swallow a dry sob into a constricted throat. </p><p>    “Cass, talk to me.”, Bull demanded and put his hand heavily on her shoulder. His touch grounded her…or maybe it snapped the last cord tying her to the earth. </p><p>    Without a word, Cassandra slung her arms around the Bull’s neck and pulled him down to her height. Or maybe she pulled herself up to his. </p><p>    “Whoa, Seeker!”, he tried to mask his gasp as a chuckle, “I ain’t complaining, but what do you think you’re doing?” </p><p>    His hands on her hips should have pulled her against his bulk, but no, she definitely felt him hold her at arms’ length. Skillfully and subtly, but still. </p><p>    “Kiss me.”, Cassandra demanded in a whisper and tried again to pull herself up, tried to plant a kiss onto his mouth, but Bull leaned his head back. </p><p>    “Bull…!”, she whined, tried again, felt his arms coil and thought he would pull her against his chest. But no, the Bull deposited her feet firmly on the ground and held her there with his strong hands on her hips. His whole body was already telling her what he then spoke, quietly, but clearly: “No.” </p><p>    “Bull, I need…!”, Cassandra protested, grabbed onto one of his horns, but Bull quickly pried her fingers from it and squeezed them, held her in place. </p><p>    “Listen, Seeker.”, he then said, his voice so infuriatingly calm while her heart was galloping and her cheeks were aflame, “I’m a spy, have been for years. You know that I’ve manipulated a lot of people.” </p><p>    “You have also bedded a lot of people.”, Cassandra shot venom at him and Bull growled. She would break him and relished the thought. Bull wrapped his big hands around her waist, finally… but then gently pushed downward, physically grounding her. </p><p>    “And as a spy, I have learned one important lesson.”, Bull then mumbled in the small space between them, “You give your enemies what they want, but your friends what they need.” </p><p>    “Where’s the difference?”, Cassandra barked at him, wanted to fight him - or do something else entirely. But Bull was unperturbed, he held her gaze and held her in place. </p><p>    “You want someone to help you forget what happened with the Seekers.”, he then lowly spoke, making her wince nevertheless, “You want someone to fuck your brains out. But you need someone to make you feel safe.” </p><p>    All fight left Cassandra, the fire melted and sprang  into her eyes as tears she would not be able to hold back for long. </p><p>    “C’mere.”, Bull whispered and she broke. A sob wrenched itself from her throat and Cassandra collapsed, would have fallen had it not been for Bull who effortlessly scooped her up to carry her. I did not even occur to her that he was not sitting on his bed, holding her in his lap in a tight embrace, stroking through her hair, over her back. Cassandra was completely lost in the grief she had kept at bay for days and that now had broken free. She cried and cried, sniffled, dampened Bull’s warm skin with her tears and Maker knew what else, but all he did was hold her tight, stroke her back, squeeze her hip, nuzzle the top of her head. He did not speak, merely hummed quietly in his chest, this rumbling more comforting than she had ever thought it could be. </p><p>    At some point the tears dried, left her cheeks sticky and gross, then the sobs quieted and at long last Cassandra was brave enough to turn her face away from the crook of Bull’s neck, to at least face the two candles on his bedside table. </p><p>    “Better?”, he asked, but Cassandra did not trust her voice yet, so she nodded. </p><p>    “You’re gonna be alright.”, Bull promised her, “Whatever you face, whatever shit your fate or your Maker throws at you, you’ll pull through.” </p><p>    “H-how?”, she croaked, then cleared her throat, but Bull chuckled above her, “You’re tough, Seeker. And you don’t take shit from anyone. You’ll fight back.” </p><p>    “I don’t know how.”, she whispered and closed her eyes again. It hurt to admit it, but she was lost. </p><p>    “Agh, you’ll make it.”, Bull teased good naturedly and squeezed her against his side, almost suffocating her, “You’ll always make it and drag us along with you, kicking and screaming if need be. Maybe you don’t know how right now, right this moment. But give it a few days and you’ll be up in arms again.” </p><p>    She snorted, caught between humour, disbelief and gratitude. </p><p>    “May I…?”, Cassandra began a question she was sure she would not be able to finish. But Bull understood: “Take your time. I’m here, Cass.” </p><p>    With that, Bull resumed the broad strokes of his hand over her back and Cassandra closed her eyes, allowed herself a moment of respite in his arms, basked in the warmth and comfort she had never before associated with the man. She wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and to her astonishment, Cassandra felt like she could. She had at least the peace of mind to want sleep after her horrifying discoveries. </p><p>    Maybe… she could rebuild the Seekers, change them into what they should have been? Maybe… </p><p>    When she realised that she was already on her way back to fighting shape, Cassandra smiled. </p><p>    “There she is.”, Bull mumbled into her hair, “That’s my Cass.” </p><p>    She thought she felt his lips touch the crown of her head for a moment, but Cassandra was not sure. And it was a question for another night, not tonight. </p><p>    “Thank you, Bull.”, she whispered into the darkness around them, but he replied against her temple, “Anytime, Seeker.” </p><p>    Cassandra took a deep breath, then pushed to her feet and left. She could not look back. </p><p>    If she did, she would turn around and return to him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cassandra stared at the little scrap of paper. What did this mean? What could it mean? Was she over-analysing a triviality? </p><p>    Probably. </p><p>    “Ugh.”, she let the message drop onto her table and turned away from it…only to turn back a heartbeat later. “Meet me at the battlements, one hour” was all it said, but she knew Bull’s handwriting by now. Surely, she was overthinking it all. But what could he want? </p><p>    Cassandra blushed heavily as her thoughts took a turn she had not given them permission for. </p><p>    “Ugh!”, she groaned vehemently, then grabbed her sword and left the forge. The hour was almost up due to her frantic and mostly idiotic thinking and there was only one way to find out the truth anyway. She would go to him, see what Bull wanted. If he was playing a prank on her, she could always beat him black and blue while sparing tomorrow. </p><p>    Satisfied with that thought, but still overly anxious Cassandra made her way over to the stairs down into the courtyard, then over to Cullen’s tower. On her way, she could already see Bull standing on the battlements. Good, so at least he would not let her wait there and make a fool out of herself. </p><p>    Why she thought that even remotely possible, Cassandra did not want to ponder. It was unfair, the friend had never done her any harm. Climbing the steps she admitted that she had feared he would betray them to the Qun, but now…Gatt had declared him Tal-Vashoth. </p><p>    Cassandra stopped in her tracks. Could this be about his new status? Again her thoughts raced and she could hardly follow them. </p><p>    Was Bull about to leave the Inquisition? No, he would tell the Inquisitor, not her. Was he disappointed that no one had tried to talk to him about it, because they had all tried to give him some space? </p><p>    “Ugh.”, she shook her head and climbed the last flight of stairs. No way but forward. </p><p>    As Cassandra joined him on the battlements, she greeted him, her voice almost calm: “Bull, you wanted to see me?” </p><p>    “Ah, Seeker, you’re here. Good.”, he nodded at her, but Cassandra was looking behind him. Those two guards were doing their duty…yet why did that not sit right with her? </p><p>    She got her answer as one of them drew a blade and lunged. </p><p>    “Bull!”, she warned him, just as he turned around and hit one of the guards square in the jaw. But the other threw his knife and it buried itself deep in Bull’s shoulder. </p><p>    “I got it!”, he growled and smacked the one who had thrown the blade, yet Cassandra had already drawn her sword. Together they charged as they had so many times before. Her opponent dodged her first blow, but then fell for her feint and collapsed gurgling, drowning in his own blood. </p><p>    “Ebost issala, Tal-Vashoth.”, the remaining assassin hissed, but Bull grabbed him around the neck and threw him off the battlement into the ragged rocks below, “Yeah, yeah. My soul is dust. Yours is scattered all over the ground though, so…” </p><p>    Panting, he turned around and gave her a half-smile: “Thanks, Seeker. I thought I might need backup.” </p><p>    “You knew they were coming?!”, she shouted at him and Bull shrugged, “Change in guard rotation tipped me off. But apparently I’m not even worth sending professionals for.” </p><p>    “You knew?”, she asked again and shook her head, “Why didn’t you say anything? We could have protected you!” </p><p>    “I don’t need protection, I’m a big boy.”, Bull grinned at her, then narrowed his eye, “Besides, did you go through years of Ben-Hassrath training to control your facial expressions while I wasn’t looking?” </p><p>    Cassandra’s eyes widened at those words and Bull growled: “Didn't’ think so.” </p><p>    “You’re right.”, she then conceded, “Forgive me.” </p><p>    “It’s alright.”, he muttered and rolled his shoulders, “Stings like shit, though.” </p><p>    “You should get that looked at.”, Cassandra suggested as she put her sword away, “It might have been poisoned.” </p><p>    Bull really had the nerve to laugh: “Oh, I’m sure they used poison. Saar-Qamek, liquid form. If I hadn’t dosed myself with the antidote, I’d be going crazy now and puking my guts up.” </p><p>    Cassandra frowned and then insisted: “If you won’t let a healer take a look at it, at least let me help you patch you up.” </p><p>    “Yeah…”, Bull mumbled and led the way to his room. He earned a few concerned looks, but he always had a smile and a kind word for those asking: “What happened?” </p><p>    “Nothing much. Hurt myself worse fooling around in bed.”, he told a team of guards and they laughed, then went their way. </p><p>    “Is that true?”, Cassandra asked and Bull glanced at her, then grinned, but she interrupted, “Do not think to lie to me.” </p><p>    “Then come on.”, Bull asked instead of answering and once they had reached his room, he grabbed a little kit, “Bandages, salve. Water is over there.” </p><p>    “Needle and thread?”, Cassandra asked as she pulled off her gloves, but Bull laughed, “Why bother? Just another impressive scar for the ladies.” </p><p>    Raising an eyebrow at him, she demanded: “I will clean that wound and stitch it closed, Maker help me.” </p><p>    “Fine.”, he snickered to himself, “As you wish, Seeker.” </p><p>    “Sit down.”, she ordered and as Bull sat on his bed, she brought the bowl of water over and began to clean the wound. </p><p>    “Shit, Seeker, that hurts.”, he complained, but Cassandra chuckled, “Relax, it’s the good kind of pain.” </p><p>    At this he snorted, but grinned. Still it bothered Cassandra that he had stopped talking. The Bull never stopped talking. </p><p>    “You knew they were coming?”, she asked, grasping for something to break the tense silence, as she reached for needle and thread, “You were prepared?” </p><p>    “Yeah…”, Bull mumbled, “Besides…Sending two idiots with blades after me isn’t a hit. It’s a formality. Just to make it clear I’m Tal-Vashoth.” </p><p>    Looking down at his massive hands, he heaved a sigh and whispered: “Tal-Va-fucking-shoth.” </p><p>    Cassandra hummed, unsure what to say, so she finished the stitches on his shoulder and put the needle away before she looked at him. But he kept looking downward, his Ben-Hassrath training failing him. </p><p>    “Bull.”, she spoke to gain his attention, but as he merely shook his head, Cassandra put her hands to his cheeks, coaxed him to look the short distance up into her face. </p><p>    “I will never understand what that means to you, I cannot. But I know about loss. I lost my family, my brother, the Divine, the Seekers. But I have my friends here. As do you.” </p><p>    She saw him close his eye, sigh again, a quiet breath against her hand that yet told her so much. </p><p>    “I fought hundreds of Tal-Vashoth.”, Bull then whispered, “Hundreds of madmen intent on killing and pillaging and destroying. Now I’m one of them.” </p><p>    “No!”, Cassandra sharply said, clenching her fingers on his skin, “You are not mad. You are a good man with a heart for too big and too golden for his chest, big as it may be. You may not be part of the Qun any longer, but you are not mad.” </p><p>    “Maybe.”, he muttered, but he was not convinced, she knew that. Yet CAssandra would not push him, he needed time, so she offered, “Rest now. I will let Leliana know what happened.” </p><p>    With that she wanted to step back, but he stopped her with his arms around her waist, effectively caging her against his chest before pulling her closer. </p><p>    “Or you could stay…”, he drawled, one of his hands inching closer to her backside, and Cassandra smiled. She could not resist tenderly touching his cheeks once more before she resolutely shook her head: “No, Bull. You might want me now, but you need rest.” </p><p>    “Shit.”, he chuckled, “Using my own words against me. Seeker, how dastardly of you.” </p><p>    Cassandra gave him another grin, yet he did not let her go. Bull pulled her closer again and just as she was about to protest, for both their sakes, he leaned his forehead against hers and mumbled: “Thanks, Cass.” </p><p>    “Of course.”, she replied just as quietly. Bull held onto her a moment longer, then squeezed her against him before he let her go. </p><p>    “Try to sleep.”, she suggested and turned around to leave. This time she could not resist, she had already opened the door, but yet she looked back at him. Only to find Bull already looking at her, a soft smile on his lips. He gave her a nod, then laid down. </p><p>    Cassandra lowered her head and softly closed the door behind her. Yet it felt as if something of hers was still in that room, with him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Finally the day would come to an end. It had been entirely too long. </p><p>    Cassandra stretched her neck after her bath, felt something pop and was of half a mind to simply go to bed. But their last excursion had been too eventful and still fresh in her mind, all of Skyhold was alight with chatter about the Inquisitor slaying a dragon. And as her next assignment would not start for at least a week, Cassandra decided to enjoy this evening a bit longer. A nice glass of red wine in the Herald’s Rest would be the right thing. </p><p>    For a moment she thought about donning her armour, but then decided against it. She was always armed, even though the guards were efficient and Skyhold as safe as anyplace could be in times like these. So Cassandra scoffed at herself and left the forge in her simple tunic and breeches. </p><p>    The day’s warmth still lingered in the air and nevertheless she could already hear quite the ruckus from the tavern. Stopping in her tracks, she thought that maybe Varric was there to tell the tale of the dragonslaying, completely blown out of proportion as always, but then she soldiered on. </p><p>    Even if, that dwarf would not ruin her glass of wine for her. No one would or the Maker have mercy on them. </p><p>    As she entered the Herald’s Rest, the sounds of the lively tavern all but assaulted her ears. There was chatter, mugs clinking together, Maryden was singing and plucking her lute, a few people were even dancing. Blessedly, no one interrupted her as she ordered her wine and then found a secluded table, half hidden behind the bard. For one, she could listen to the music here, secondly, the constant prattling of the other guests was a bit lessened here. </p><p>    Soon Cassandra was able to tune them out almost completely and to simply focus on her beverage. She had no idea where the dwarf had found wine this good, but she would not question her luck. If she did, she might find out that Varric had his fingers in this endeavour as well and that surely would ruin her experience. </p><p>    With a satisfied sigh, Cassandra finished off the glass and kept her eyes closed for a moment, but she was interrupted by a loud voice that made her wince. </p><p>    “Atashi.”, the Bull spoke, a bit too loudly even for him, “The glorious ones. That’s our word for them, Ataaaaaashi.” </p><p>    Cassandra raised a brow. Was he drunk? </p><p>    Curious now, she stood up and followed his voice, excitedly talking about dragons. And there he was, at the bar, drinking Maker knew what together with the Inquisitor, both coughing violently after every sip. </p><p>    Both very drunk. </p><p>    “Nice!”, the Bull then shouted and raised his mug, boisterously toasting, “To dragons!” </p><p>    The Inquisitor was barely able to lift his mug, but Trevelyan made a valiant effort and mumbled: “To…friends.” </p><p>    “What are you two doing?”, Cassandra asked, even though she already knew. To her satisfaction, both winced and looked at her like young boys caught while sneaking into the larder. </p><p>    “Well?”, she prompted again and Bull smiled brightly, “Drinking to the dead dragon. It was glorious! The way it gurgled right before it spit fire. How the ground shook when it landed…” </p><p>    Cassandra interrupted his rapture with a dry comment: “Yes, I was there.” </p><p>    “True.”, Bull grinned and then looked at her, really looked at her, his eyes scrutinising her sole to crown. </p><p>    “Ya know…”, he then drawled, “For a long time I didn’t know what was under your armour, because it left a lot to the imagination. Which is good, don’t get me wrong. And when we’re off saving the world I can never say that, but I’ve wanted to for a while now.” </p><p>    Trevelyan blinked heavily at him, surely not having comprehended that slightly convoluted sentence. Cassandra, too, wondered, what he would reveal now. Maybe she should be worried. </p><p>    “Ya know, Seeker…”, Bull softly said and leaned closer, slightly towering over her even though he was sitting, “You’ve got fantastic tits.” </p><p>    Cassandra gasped, too shocked to speak. </p><p>    Scandalised, she felt her cheeks flush, glow with shameful heat. </p><p>    “I prefer men.”, Trevelyan indistinctly mumbled, his gaze fixing on her chest, “But, Maker, he’s right. You’ve got fantastic tits.” </p><p>    “You have had enough!”, Cassandra decided, “Both of you!” </p><p>    “But…”, Trevelyan whined, yet Cassandra merely shook her head, “Sleep this off, Inquisitor.” </p><p>    “Alright.”, he muttered and got up, only to collapse against Cassandra. </p><p>    “Ha!”, the Bull laughed and got up himself, but staggered, “Uh…sorry, I’m out. Cass, could you bring him to his quarters?” </p><p>    “You certainly can’t even find your own.”, she muttered, then turned around, Trevelyan pressed against her saide, “Krem!” </p><p>    “Yes, Lady Pentaghast?”, Bull’s Lieutenant answered and while she would normally damn his manners, she merely told him, “I think your Commander needs help. See to it while I escort the Inquisitor.” </p><p>    “With pleasure.”, the young warrior grinned and grabbed Bull’s arm, “May I kick you into your bed, Chief?” </p><p>    “Fuck off, Krem.”, he muttered with humour, but then looked at Cassandra again. For a moment she thought he would comment on her chest again and she flushed, but he merely inclined his head and said “I’ll sit here a bit. Until the room stops spinning.” </p><p>    “Then I’ll stay with you. Make sure you don’t drink more.”, Krem teased and they both laughed, so Cassandra turned around, but Bull called her back, “Hey. Thanks, kadan.” </p><p>    She merely nodded, wondering how drunk he was if he could not even pronounce her name right. But Trevelyan would soon fall asleep leaned against her side, so she slung his arm over her shoulders and urged him on: “Come on, Your Worship, let’s go.” </p><p>    “Don’t call me that.”, he muttered into her shoulder and Cassandra laughed, then started their cumbersome ascent  to his quarters. She had never realised just how many steps there were until she had to climb them with the additional weight of an Inquisitor almost dead on his feet. </p><p>    As soon as she had nudged the door open, rather ungracefully, a voice greeted them: “Hello, amatus, wha… what happened?” </p><p>    “Bull.”, Trevelyan mumbled, “Mara’s Lock. Strong stuff.” </p><p>    “You drank Maaras-Lok?”, Dorian gasped in shock, “With that lummox? Dear me, it’s a wonder you are still alive, amatus!” </p><p>    Without another word, Dorian came to their aid and helped move Trevelyan to the bed. Clicking his tongue, the mage then divested the Inquisitor of his boots and put a glass of water into his hands with the order: “Drink this.” </p><p>    “No…”, he weakly protested, but Dorian insisted, “Drink. No questions, amatus.” </p><p>    He then turned to her and nodded, “Thank you, Cassandra. I would have hated to have been obligated to collect him from the tavern floor come tomorrow.” </p><p>    “You’re welcome.”, she said and turned to leave, “Good night.” </p><p>    Outside in the now cooler night air, Cassandra wondered what she should do next and even though she looked at the forge, now dark, her feet carried her back to the Herald’s Rest. It was dumb, it was dangerous… but she had wanted to stay with Bull. </p><p>    She should not, she knew that, but even though her mind was sure of this, her body was acting on its own accord and made her hurry into the tavern. </p><p>    Her heart was hammering in her chest as she looked around…and did not find Bull. Or Krem. </p><p>    Cassandra sighed and hung her head. Part of her was relieved that he was already gone, for Maker only knew what would have happened if she had run to him now, both of them tired and Bull drunk on alcohol and victory over a dragon. But an equal or even bigger part of her was disappointed. </p><p>    With a heart heavy with sorrow she did not understand, Cassandra went back to the forge and readied herself for bed. There in the darkness, already half asleep, she startled awake. </p><p>    He had not said her name. Bull had called her “kadan”. She had never heard that word before, but had she just imagined it or had Krem stared at his captain in utter surprise? </p><p>    And if so…just what did that word mean?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’ve had enough of Orlais.”, Bull grumbled next to her while they were walking through the halls of the Winter Palace. </p><p>    “For a lifetime.”, Cassandra nodded at him and laughed quietly. They continued in silence, until Bull grumbled again and one look from her prompted him to spit in annoyance: “The uniform chafes. It’s uncomfortable as shit.” </p><p>    “Your usual attire would have earned you a lot more attention, believe me.”, Cassandra teased and he guffawed, only to fall silent. She knew by now to associate this with trouble, usually in the form of a crude joke. </p><p>    “Ya know, Seeker…” </p><p>    Here we go… </p><p>    “Uncomfortable clothes are the best excuse to get out of them entirely.” </p><p>    Cassandra felt her cheeks go red, just as he had wanted, telling from his chuckling, yet she did her best to muster up an answer: “It has been a long day. Sleep should be welcome.” </p><p>    “True.”, Bull agreed, but when his room came into view, he growled, “And I know you Southerners don’t have much to do with Qunari, but has it ever occurred to someone that I can’t sleep in a bed like that?” </p><p>    “Neither can I.”, Cassandra spoke, just as annoyed and rolling her shoulders, already wincing from the anticipated discomfort, “It is much too soft.” </p><p>    Bull gave her a slow smile and opened the door to his room, then nodded inside: “I know. But, Cass, have you seen the size of that thing?” </p><p>    She had… </p><p>    “Do you have any idea what you could do with a bed as big as this?”, Bull all but purred, a dangerous glitter in his eye. </p><p>    Maybe it was the wine, maybe the long day…or just that she had been waiting for far too long already. Whatever it was, Cassandra spoke before she could convince herself not to: “Show me.” </p><p>    Apparently, this had not only surprised herself, but Bull as well. He looked positively stumped. </p><p>    “Cass…”, he began, his voice low, “Are you serious?” </p><p>    Was she? </p><p>    “Yes.”, Cassandra replied, her cheeks still aflame, but her certain unwavering, “This is inevitable, Bull. It should have happened long ago, maybe when you first suggested it.” </p><p>    She swallowed dryly, then grinned and averted her gaze as she added: “It definitely should have happened after you gave me a massage.” </p><p>    Still looking at her boots, much too fancy, too shiny for a warrior, she continued: “I have thought about it many times since then. But I did not dare accept this. Whatever it is…” </p><p>    “Respect.”, Bull said and gently brushed two of his thick fingers over her chin, prompting her to look at him, “Friendship at the very least. And a lot of fun.” </p><p>    “I…am not someone to do this lightly.”, Cassandra murmured, “Normally.” </p><p>    “You know the Qunari don’t have romantic relationships.”, Bull explained quietly, “But if it’s any consolation, this isn’t meaningless sex for me, either. You’re a trusted friend. I might even cuddle you after and fall asleep.” </p><p>    At this Cassandra laughed and Bull gave her a dangerous grin, then he grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. He kicked the door closed behind them and pressed her up against the dark wood, the bulk of his body holding her there. Powerful and protective. </p><p>    “If you want me to stop, you say “satin”, alright?”, Bull asked and Cassandra shook her head, not understanding, “Whenever I do something you don’t like, if it’s too much or you want me to stop for whatever reason, you say the word. No questions asked. Do you understand, Cass?” </p><p>    “Y-yes.”, she stumbled over the simple word, too hot in her own skin, but Bull did not let up, “Then say it now. What’s the word?” </p><p>    Cassandra’s mind had still not caught up to her, but she answered nevertheless: “Satin.” </p><p>    “Good.”, Bull rumbled low in his chest, “Very good.” </p><p>    Cassandra gasped as he easily caught both her wrists in one hand and forced them up over her head, still pinning her to the door in her back with his body. But his right hand was gentle as it cupped her face, as his thumb traced her lower lip. His mouth, however, ravaged hers a moment later and he wasted no time, using tongue and teeth to wring little moans and gasps from her. </p><p>    They grew louder as his hand wound a slow path downwards, lazily flicking open the buttons on her uniform. </p><p>    “Bull…”, she breathed when he let her come up for air. She was unsure what she had wanted to say and Bull’s hand on her front, his fingers between her breasts, made it very difficult to think clearly. </p><p>    “It you want me to stop, you know the word.”, Bull reminded her, “No questions asked.” </p><p>    “No.”, Cassandra decided vehemently, “I want this. You.” </p><p>    “Good.”, Bull whispered against her lips and his hand wandered under the lapel of her uniform to cup her breast. Before Cassandra could have gasped, Bull withdrew his hand again and had quickly undone the belt and the sash around her waist, both items falling to the floor, the buckle cushioned by the blue cloth and forgotten as soon as they had landed. </p><p>    Cassandra tried to free her wrists, but as she was unsuccessful, she leaned away from Bull to pant: “Unfair. Let me…” </p><p>    “Not yet.”, he denied her, his mouth so close she felt his breath and his lips on hers as he spoke, “Soon, but not yet.” </p><p>    The only concession he made was to take off his gloves using his teeth, never letting her wrists go. Bull then snaked his arm behind her back and pulled her against his chest, but still he was pinning her hands to the door, so Cassandra had to stretch to accommodate his urging. To breath, she leaned her head back, but Bull quickly caught the back of her head in his massive hand and pressed her to him, kissing her breathless. </p><p>    Cassandra was already standing on the tips of her toes, the effort pulling her muscles taut. She had no idea how long she would be able to keep this up and she struggled to free her hands or her head, but had little leverage in her position. </p><p>    So Cassandra gave in and allowed herself to fall into Bull’s arms. </p><p>    As she did, she felt him grin against her lips and she gasped as he hoisted her up, holding her with his big hands on her backside. Her legs had closed around his thick waist on their own accord, as her arms had come around his neck. </p><p>    “I like the view.”, Bull said, “You’re gorgeous all flushed and dishevelled.” </p><p>    “You should see me naked.”, Cassandra shot back and used his surprise to try and turn the tables, to now kiss him senseless. </p><p>    Of course he recovered quickly and squeezed her backside, then pulled her middle against his crotch. What she felt there wrenched a moan from her. He was ready. </p><p>    But he now used her surprise to tease her: “Ya know, Cass.You’ve also got a fantastic ass.” </p><p>    “Thank you.”, she laughed and decided to allow her tongue free reign for a while, “I would comment on your arse or your member, but I have yet to see them and feel them properly.” </p><p>    Bull laughed loudly, pressed his hips into her and promised darkly: “You will.” </p><p>    With that he turned them around and Cassandra only realised that she had trusted him to hold her when he let go and dropped her on the bed. She was still surprised when Bull gracelessly pulled off her boots, cursing under his breath as he had to try twice, but as soon as they were gone, Cassandra sat up. </p><p>    Or she would have, but Bull was above her in an instant and used his strength and his weight to push her down again. It pressed the air from her lungs and made her see stars as he kissed her, but when he leaned back, let her breathe, he also parted her tunic, only to reveal a shift under it. </p><p>    “This fucking uniform has too many fucking layers.”, he growled and Cassandra laughed before she offered, “I’ll take off mine if you take off yours. Saves time.” </p><p>    “And rob me of the pleasure of undressing you?”, Bull teased, “No way.” </p><p>    His hands cupped her neck and he gently pulled, urged her to sit. Once she did, his hands brushed down her cheeks, over her shoulders and under the tunic to pull it off her. </p><p>    Bull flung it behind him and his hands immediately returned to her, grabbing her hips to swiftly pull Cassandra to the edge of the bed. Her head was already swimming, but her heart missed a few beats as his fingers then snuck under the shift and upwards, caressing her skin as he pulled the garment off her. </p><p>    She laughed as she saw the deadly glare he then gave her breastband. </p><p>    “Ya know, I said it’s a good thing you leave a few things to the imagination.”, Bull grumbled, then growled darkly, “I retract that. It’s bullshit. Off with all this crap.” </p><p>    Cassandra laughed wholeheartedly, but sharply took in breath when Bull cupped her breasts and teased her nipples even through the fabric of her breastband. </p><p>    “Help me outta here.”, he asked, his fingers tugging on her band, “Unless you want me to cut it off you.” </p><p>    Cassandra blushed heavily and Bull chuckled: “That excites you. Alright.” </p><p>    “I only have that one with me!”, Cassandra shouted as Bull had already knelt down to retrieve a dagger from his boot. </p><p>    “Fine.”, he then grumbled and she was already taking the breastband off, yet Bull complained with a grin, “This still takes too long.” </p><p>    With that, he pulled open the strings and buttons on her breeches, time and again brushing over her core, making her gasp and wonder if it was an accident or not. Probably not, knowing him. </p><p>    As soon as Cassandra had managed to get the breastband off, she flung it to the side and Bull hooked his fingers into the waistband of her trousers. He pulled them off agonizingly slowly, caressing the skin of her hips and thighs as he did. But he stopped as soon as he had pulled the cloth past her backside and had thereby revealed her nakedness underneath. </p><p>    He stared at her and even though Cassandra blushed, for she thought he had to smell and see her wetness, she quietly defended herself: “Underwear is so…impractical.” </p><p>    Bull grinned at her, then pulled the trousers off her and kissed her, his bulk pushing her back to the bed. Only as she held onto his shoulders did Cassandra realise that he was still fully clothed. </p><p>    She tugged at the collar of the tunic, but Bull sucked the skin at the juncture of her neck and shoulder into his mouth, laved it with his tongue before he mumbled into her skin: “Still not yet, Cass.” </p><p>    “Then when?”, she asked in a huff and tried to grab Bull’s face, but he evaded her and effectively shut her up by sucking a nipple between his lips. Cassandra did cup his cheeks now, but only to hold him in place while she moaned helplessly. </p><p>    “Argh, hot damn.”, Bull spoke against her skin, making his way over to her other breast kissing and licking, “You’re so sensitive. Been a while?” </p><p>    “Yes.”, was all Cassandra offered and all she could think of as Bull gently bit down on her nipple before he said, “I’ll take care of you.” </p><p>    With that promise he made his way down her stomach, his hands teasing her breasts his lips had just left before the parted her thighs. </p><p>    “Bull…”, Cassandra began, thinking that he would not… when he did. </p><p>    He grabbed her hands that had unconsciously tried to stop him and used one arm to pin both her hands and one thigh down, his other hand took hold of her other thigh. She was completely open to him and Bull wasted no time before he let her feel his tongue deep within her. </p><p>    Cassandra cried out, powerless to stop herself. One of his large fingers joined his tongue, making her feel impossibly full already, and when he slowly pumped his finger into her, his tongue wandered upwards. When his lips closed around her clitoris and sucked, Cassandra cried out again. </p><p>    She felt more than heard him hum, then he redoubled his efforts, pushing her fast towards a climax. </p><p>    Only to slow down just before she would have reached it. </p><p>    “Don’t…”, Cassandra panted, struggling to form a sentence, “Don’t toy with me.” </p><p>    “I’m not.”, Bull said against the skin of her thigh, never stopping the caress of his finger in her, “But for all your might, you’re still tiny. I ain’t keen on hurting you. At least no more than you want me to.” </p><p>    He winked at her and despite it all, Cassandra laughed. Bull released her hands and kissed his way up her front again, making a detour to first one breast, then the other before he kissed her lips, dove deep with his tongue. Never stopping the maddening caress of his finger. </p><p>    “I have to get you ready.”, Bull said lowly, one hand brushing the sweat from her brow so tenderly, but Cassandra grabbed onto his horns and snarled, “I am more than ready.” </p><p>    Bull chuckled darkly against her lips, then challenged: “Alright, show me.” </p><p>    She needed no more prompting. Cassandra forcefully pushed him back so that he stood, then she viciously attacked the buttons on his uniform, all but tore away the belt and sash. </p><p>    Bull laughed quietly, then stepped back. </p><p>    “Hey!”, Cassandra protested, only making him laugh again, then Bull pulled off his boots and made quick work of the tunic, shift and trousers as well. As he stood there, finally naked, Cassandra had to remind herself that she had seen his torso probably a hundred times over, but still she was staring even before her gaze reached his crotch. As it did, her eyes widened. </p><p>    “Still think you’re ready?”, Bull teased her and she narrowed her eyes in anger, then wordlessly closed her fist around his shaft. It was a small victory to have him moan at this and hum as she began to slowly pump him, enjoying the heat and the foreign texture of his skin. </p><p>    Far too soon for her liking, Bull took her hand to lead it away from his middle, but he pulled it to his lips and kissed it before sitting down next to her. </p><p>    “C’mere.”, he growled playfully and grabbed her hips, effortlessly swinging her around so that she was straddling him. </p><p>    “Now you can…”, he began, but Cassandra grabbed his horns and interrupted him with a snarl, “If you were about to say that now I can ride the Bull, I will hurt you.” </p><p>    For an answer he blinked at her, grinned and said: “Now you can control how fast we go.” </p><p>    Cassandra narrowed her eyes at him, then returned his smile and muttered, shaking her head: “You are a scoundrel.” </p><p>    “That and many other things.”, Bull teased and grabbed her hips to support her, yet it was Cassandra herself who directed their movements, who lined their bodies up and slowly sank down on him. </p><p>    She was loathe to admit that he had been right, she was small compared to him. </p><p>    “Breathe.”, Bull asked her and gently squeezed her hips, grounding her. Still Cassandra clenched her hands holding onto his shoulders, but she breathed and once they were flush together, the initial discomfort soon gave way to pleasurable fullness and heat. </p><p>    “Maker’s Breath…”, she gasped and Bull chuckled, “No, Cass, that’s my dick.” </p><p>    He blasphemed, yet still she laughed and began to move, slowly at first, but their rhythm gained momentum quickly. </p><p>    “Damn.”, Bull panted and tightened his grip on her hips, now directing her movement, but he stopped soon, giving control back to her. </p><p>    “Bull…”, Cassandra said, her hands on his cheeks, her gaze on his eye as she demanded, “Don’t hold back.” </p><p>    “You sure?”, he asked, one hand brushing over the length of her spine in a caress that made her shiver. She closed her yes for a moment and sighed, then looked him straight in the eye and demanded: “Yes. Give me everything.” </p><p>    Bull growled deeply and pulled her against his chest, crashing his mouth to hers before he stood up, Cassandra in his grip. She was completely at his mercy and relished the thought. </p><p>    His hands on her ass lifted her up, then pushed her down onto his length, again and again, making her moan. The wind was knocked out of her as Bull pushed her back against the wall, icecold compared to the heat of him, and Cassandra gasped, but it turned first into a hiss, then a drawn out moan as Bull hooked his arms under her knees, opening her up and then he pounded into her. </p><p>    All Cassandra could do was to hold on for dear life. </p><p>    “Hot damn.”, Bull panted against her mouth, filling her over and over, “Come for me, kadan. Now.” </p><p>    With a hoarse cry, she did. Cassandra shook violently in his grip, convulsing around him as she rode the waves of her climax and then his as Bull came with a shout worthy of battle. </p><p>    Cassandra hung loosely in his arms and sighed weakly as Bull pressed a kiss to her forehead. She closed her eyes, surprised herself that she trusted him so completely. And Bull warranted that trust many times over as he gently laid her on the bed and, even though she almost whimpered as he left her body, he soon returned with a warm and wet cloth to clean her with slow and tender strokes. </p><p>    Cassandra sighed once more when he then lifted her neck in his big hand and rested it on a pillow he had stuffed under her head. </p><p>    Only now did she realise that her head was at the foot end of the bed. Curious she looked on as Bull also washed himself, giving her a wonderful view of his backside she appreciated, then he returned to the bed and laid down beside her, his horns protruding over the edge of the bed. </p><p>    Cassandra giggled before she could stop herself and Bull glanced at her, then grumbled: “Told ya I can’t sleep in these beds for shit.” </p><p>    “You made it work.”, Cassandra replied, “Besides, you still haven’t shown me what we could do in a bed this size.” </p><p>    Bull laughed, the base of his horns scratching over his pillow, then he pulled Cassandra into his chest and held her close as he said: “You’re priceless, kadan.” </p><p>    He stiffened for a heartbeat, no longer, but Cassandra had felt it. ONly because she had been paying attention. </p><p>    “What does that mean?”, she asked, quite bluntly and when he did not reply, she craned her neck to look at him, “You have called me that three times by now.” </p><p>    “I know.”, Bull lowly spoke, “I slipped up.”</p><p>    “How is that?”, Cassandra asked, unsure what he meant and curious. But when he did not answer, she felt worry rise in her breast, unsure of its origin, but sure of its importance. </p><p>    She turned around to look at him, resting her hands and her chin on his massive chest, her gaze trained on him. </p><p>    “Well…”, he drawled. He was stalling. It astounded Cassandra more than she had ever expected, but Bull was indeed playing for time. He did not want to answer. </p><p>    Now she really did grow anxious. How bad would it be, could it be if it made him insecure? </p><p>    “You know that Qunari don’t have romantic relationships.”, Bull slowly began, “Course we have sex, but usually for fun or to reproduce, but the Tamassrans decide on that. So a romantic relationship, a partnership or even marriage is out of the question.” </p><p>    Cassandra simply nodded. She did not know what to say and did not dare interrupt him. </p><p>    “But we do have friends.”, he added, a half-hearted grin on his lips, “Sometimes, we find people that are special to us, may they be friends or comrades or whatever. But they are special to us. They are kadan.” </p><p>    He fell silent and Cassandra could not withstand her own anxiety anymore, she whispered: “What does it mean?” </p><p>    Bull gave her a slow, almost sad smile before one arm held her to his chest and his other hand caressed her cheek as he replied: “My heart.” </p><p>    Cassandra was shocked into silence. This massive warrior had chosen her, with all her flaws, as his heart? How? </p><p>    “Cass.”, Bull asked with a frown, “Are you…tearing up on me?” </p><p>    She furiously wiped away the tears that of course had started to fall at his words. </p><p>    “Romance is not the sole province of giggling ladies in frilly dresses.”, she growled her objection, “It is passion, emotion, it’s…” </p><p>    “Hey.”, Bull stopped her rant with a smile, “I always knew you were a romantic.” </p><p>    “Don’t ridicule me.”, Cassandra muttered into his skin, but Bull gently coaxed her into looking at him before he spoke, “I’m not. I’m just surprised that you could feel that way for me. I’m not exactly what I thought you would go for.” </p><p>    “I thought that as well.”, Cassandra admitted slowly, “At first. But whenever I needed someone, you were there. You may not be what I imagined the man at my side to be, but you are here, you are real. And far better than any fantasy.” </p><p>    “You truly are a romantic. You say the most beautiful things.”, Bull teased her and she narrowed her eyes, but he merely laughed, “C’mere, kadan.” </p><p>    She eagerly followed him into a deep kiss and, somehow, in the midst of it, she had straddled his hips. </p><p>    “Ya know… “, Bull grinned, his hands possessively on her naked backside, “We could find out just what we can do with a bed this big.” </p><p>    Cassandra threw her head back in laughter, sat up on top of him and challenged: “Then show me.” </p><p>    Bull growled, but smiled as he pulled her back down with the promising words: “You’re on, kadan.”</p>
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